Godspell anyone? Ok, that’s not what I was originally
thinking but my brain seems to be on endless album of all the songs I've heard
in my life, and certain words trigger tracks that have been long tucked away.
I’m a worrywart and anxiety ridden, but hey at least I admit
it. Lately I've felt the pressure of planning start bottling up in my stomach,
the desire to want to know what’s going to happen. My brain knows that
sometimes we don’t know what’s going to happen and aren’t supposed to, but the
problem is my brain is a little far from my stomach. Even if my mind is shouting
to the gurgling below, it just can’t seem to calm the storm.
The questions don’t help either. How long are you teaching
in Phoenix? When are you moving home? Are you seeing anyone? I see lots of
people thank you.
Maybe it’s because I’m 27 and 254 days old and aren’t you
supposed to have your life together by 30, which gives me 2 years and 132 days
to be settled and I know where I’m going to be in 10 years, do you? (Yes,
that’s a Greek reference.) Can you hear the anxiety stew bubbling yet?
In ABC family’s Greek, Evan asks his girlfriend Casey that
question. “I know where I wanna be in 10 years, do you?” Casey doesn't answer
but repeats the question to her ex-boyfriend, but soon to be boyfriend, then
ex-boyfriend, then boyfriend again…oh, the beauty of college sitcoms centered
around Greek life…Cappie answers, “I wanna be with you.”
Ok, so maybe it’s not the best show ever made but isn't that
what we should be saying to God? I don’t know where I’m going to be in 10 years
or 10 months or what I’ll even be doing in 10 days, but I know I want to be on
track with God.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future
and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God
so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all
your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
The thought of me being in control of my life is actually
pretty terrifying so I’m thankful there is Someone looking out for me 24/7. If
I keep pursuing Him, He will direct by steps, little by little, day by day.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do
not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and
he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
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Does a dad teach his kid to ride a bike the first time by
sitting him on top of the seat, saying go, and pushing him out onto the looming
asphalt? No. He probably holds his hand, runs alongside him, and lets go when
he feels the kid is ready.
Let God hold your hand. He’ll lead you along the looming
asphalt even if it is terrifying. You might not know what is around the corner,
but God does and when the time is right He’ll show you. Until then, follow him,
day by day.
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